Week 6
Pregame

Read that move again, because it deserves it: Jarrod went to the waiver wire, claimed Aaron Rodgers, and dropped Alvin Kamara to make room for him. Rodgers projects 16.0, which is fewer points than Lauren's entire lineup will score by halftime, and the roster spot Kamara used to occupy now holds a quarterback who was in the league before Jarrod could drive. He is also starting Dontayvion Wicks at 6.4, less than Lauren's kicker, with DJ Moore Questionable behind him. Lauren is 2-3 and still projects 137.7 to his 112.9, because she fields nine men who are trying. The last time these two met was Week 6 of last season: she hung 130.26 on him, he coughed up 96.52, and he finished that year 3-11 and dead last. Lauren by 25.

Nicole's starting lineup currently contains three men whose teams are on bye: Jahmyr Gibbs, Tee Higgins and the Detroit defense. That is a third of her roster sitting out, which is how a team the robot ranked second in the league and gave an A- comes out projected for 89.8 points, the lowest total on the board by a mile. Emeka Egbuka (10.6), Rachaad White (8.2) and Kyle Monangai (6.1) are all on her bench with actual games to play, and the fix takes four clicks and thirty seconds. Ryan projects 150.4 and has scored 699.70 points, more than anyone in this league, and he spent the past week adding Dameon Pierce, Will Shipley and Keon Coleman without dropping a single soul. She beat him 110.88-107.22 last season. She will not do it again. Ryan by sixty.

Morgan has made eight moves in eight days. On the 7th she cut Harrison Butker for Matt Gay, then cut Matt Gay for Evan McPherson. This morning she cut Evan McPherson and re-signed Harrison Butker. Congratulations, Morgan, you drove a complete fucking circle and paid the toll three times, and while you were at it you signed the Cincinnati defense last week and cut it this morning, which is the one week Cincinnati is on bye and had no game anyway, and Lamar Jackson is Questionable on top of all of it. Ben, meanwhile, has made zero moves, which sounds disciplined until you notice Will Reichard is in his kicker slot and Minnesota is on bye, so he is volunteering a zero he could erase with one click. Two men on two-game skids, and Morgan by four.

Beth went 10-4, won six straight to close it, and has the banner. This week her starting lineup holds Ja'Marr Chase, Sam LaPorta and Jake Bates, and every one of those teams is on bye, so she has volunteered three zeroes before a snap is played, while Jake Ferguson (8.6) and Kalif Raymond (7.4) sit on her bench with games. That is how the defending champion projects 101.6, the lowest of anyone in this league with a winning record, and gets installed as a twelve-point dog against a roster the robot ranked twelfth and graded D. Ally is no better: Jordyn Tyson, a rookie on injured reserve, is in her starting lineup again, a thing she now does on purpose every week. Chuba Hubbard (21.1) is benched behind Tony Pollard (14.1). Ally by twelve, and the LaPorta-Potty is backed up.

The commissioner has been the projected favorite in Weeks 1, 3, 4 and now 6. His record is 0-5, he has the most points against in the league at 752.20, and the only thing he has reliably beaten is the spread in the wrong direction. His path this week is paved for him: Chris is starting Kyler Murray at quarterback and Murray is on bye, as is Jameson Williams, while Matthew Golden (16.9) and Jalen Coker (13.7) sit on Chris's bench with games to play. Joey is not clean either. Chase Brown is in his lineup on a bye, and Patrick Mahomes, who Joey started last week while Kansas City sat out, projects 20.0 on the bench behind Justin Herbert at 14.1. Last year Chris took this one 125.1-120.46. Joey by thirteen, and if he loses this he should resign.

Both of these teams are 4-1. Holli has an empty starting slot where a defense goes, because she claimed Kansas City off waivers this morning and never put them in the lineup, and Deebo Samuel is sitting in a starting spot listed Out and projected 0.0 while Wan'Dale Robinson (11.6), Stefon Diggs (10.7) and Ladd McConkey (9.5) rot on her bench. She is fielding eight players and a hole, and she is still the favorite, 127.4 to 125.5. Jared has the best draft grade in the league, an A-, and his entire week of effort was claiming Matt Gay off waivers, a kicker Morgan had already thrown in the trash. That is the author of this page: number one draft, nine playing starters, and a dog to a woman who hasn't finished setting her lineup. Holli by two.